Dissecting the Female Mind

Reality shows amuse me. I know a lot of them are crap, but for the established shows like Survivor and The Apprentice, the novelty doesn't wear off despite the repetitive mechanics because they're dealing with a different set of people each season, so no two seasons are exactly alike. What amazes me is the great deal of insights on human behavior that we see when watching these shows. I particularly enjoy seasons wherein they separate men from women into 2 different groups. The differences between genders are so explicit, you'd marvel at how these differences are so universal, that you actually experience the same idiosyncrasies in everyday life.

I find it amusing that almost always, the women's group self destructs due to internal conflicts. The bickering never stops! It can be discreet backstabbing that eventually comes out in the open due to one blabbermouth, but often, these women don't hesitate to speak their mind, with explosive consequences. And in contrast, the men's group are the first to bond with each other. If any conflicts would arise, it would arise later on. And often these are resolved, with a few remnants of backstabbing here and there, but the men can get their act together despite those conflicts and work together efficiently. It never comes to the point that the group crumbles due to such conflicts.

With my past relationships, I've noticed such differences, which are often the cause of many quarrels. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus indeed. It's enough to drive a man crazy trying to understand the female mind! For one thing, I don't like the fact that women say one thing when they actually mean another thing. One would think men need a translator to understand what they really want. And they say men lack communication, when they can't even communicate properly as well! Or when we fight, I notice how they can't keep their mouth shut--- they'd blab about the problem to almost every friend--- or in the case of my ex, she'd blab about it to every single person that she'd encounter, strangers included, complete with waterworks to gain sympathy. Conflicts that arise in a relationship are a private matter, right? So why is there a need to involve other people, when the two people involved should fix things themselves? It's okay to seek advice, but involving others to get sympathy or to have added firepower on your side of the war is another matter. As for me? I choose to keep quiet, unless my friends are really persistent in probing--- that's when I speak out. And it's not for getting support, it's plainly for advice. And I know I'm not the only one like that. When my female friends fight with their boyfriends, they would tell me all about it as soon a possible. And most of them don't really listen to good advice, they'd just want you to tell them that they're the one who's right. I've had several violent reactions when I tell them they might be the ones at fault. As for my male friends? Like me, they don't usually talk about their relationship problems. Maybe it's partly because women can get sympathy easily. Just shed a tear and there would be a mountain of support for you. But if you're a man who sheds a tear, you'd most probably get laughed at and be called a wimp. But mostly, i think it's because handling relationship problems on your own makes a man a man. Involving others in your plight is a sign of weakness.

Women often complain about gender inequalities, how men often have the advantage in certain things. Well, when it comes to gaining sympathy, women definitely have the upper hand, as I have stated above. Another example? Women can scream sexual harrassment even when there's no harrassment at all, just to get back at someone, probably. and most probably, a lot of people will believe them. Men crying sexual harrassment would most probably be ignored, even if they really were harrassed... because in this world, the common perception is: WOMEN CAN'T BE ATTACKERS. MEN CAN'T BE VICTIMS. Women can also use sexuality as a weapon, for crying out loud--- and a lot of women are aware of that. And men using sexuality as a weapon? not as effective. In certain aspects of life, men have it better; in others, women have the edge. So what's with all the complaining? Everything evens out, eventually. All this fuss about gender equality and cry for women's liberation is confusing... and it seems like a lot of nonsense to me. How can a lot of these women still be fighting fiercely for equality when in today's world, men and women are mostly treated as equals? Sure, in some places gender discrimination still exists, but in most places, such discrimination is a thing of the past. And it's not like men are not discriminated. Notice also how this equality is relative. If they really want equality, then they'd better not expect guys to pick up the tab everytime they go out on dates.

I also notice how women and their close friends tend to flock together in the face of adversity, without even thinking if what they're doing is right. It's all about sticking together. When I fought with my ex, her blind, loyal followers gang up on me. It's like they've lost their own sense of judgment, as if they have been possessed by a single person. If my ex was mad at me, they're all mad at me. Forget about friendship with them as individuals. If you get the ire of one, you get the ire of everyone. it's like individual thought processes have been lost. Now imagine men doing that. Seems silly doesn't it?

Most women i know deny such things when they're brought up in casual conversation. Then i've recently had a talk with this girl who's more of an acquaintance. We talked about my ex because she kept asking me what happened. I told her my gripes with my past relationship, some of which I've mentioned above. I was surprised when she told me matter of factly, that women are really like that. There's this always present insecurity just beneath the surface, trying to come out. That's why they need all the support they can get. And men should understand that. Maybe because she has a degree in Psychology, maybe she's just above us all and incapable of bias (she pointed out my faults as well as hers), or maybe sometimes she can actually think like men. Maybe at times, she puts herself in men's shoes. She can see faults in both genders. I found it funny when she said I should watch the movie Mean Girls. In a serious tone, she told me the movie mirrors female behavior in real life perfectly, and yet a lot of women won't admit that. She said I'd probably get some insights when I watch that movie. So I watched it on DVD. besides getting insights, I also had a ton of laughs. hehe. Funny how the movie's tagline says it all--- Welcome to Girl World. Watch you back.

I think relationships would be easier if sometimes, women can think like men. I'm sure, as a retort, they'll say it would be easier if men would think like women also. Yeah right. Just by watching those reality shows, a clash between women and men who think like women would result in utter mayhem. But I guess it won't hurt if men think like women--- SOMETIMES. I've heard a lot of women say the expression "men: can't live with them, can't live without them.", that it gets irritating already. As if men are the only ones at fault. I wonder if they're aware that men sometimes think we can't live with them, and can't live without them,too.