All Things Formal

I'm not really fond of formal events. Partly because I hate dressing up in formal wear. There are so many layers of clothes, dressing up feels too much like work! And once you're already dressed, you feel so stiff in formal wear. You also have to watch your every move because you might mess up your clothes, your hair, your shoes, etc. And once you're there, everyone seems so pretentious and uptight. Probably because everyone is so conscious with their appearance, that they can't show their real selves.

And when they serve the food, instead of enjoying a nice dinner, you have to be self conscious of table manners. It's also hard to eat with long sleeves on. the multitude of utensils also adds up to the confusion. Which one should I use? There are four forks, four knives, 2 spoons. Oh, it goes from outer to inner, you say? And the fork above is a salad fork? And the weird looking knife is a butter knife? The rounded spoon is for soup, the small one is for dessert? And when eating soup, you move the spoon away from you and not towards you? And what's with the formal way of eating bread, wherein you use your hands to break them into little pieces first. Doesn't look too formal now, does it? Not too sanitary either. And let's not forget, there's no formal way of using a toothpick in a public place. You have to go to the restroom for that. Geez, if one isn't used to formal parties, a person has to read a formal dining refresher book first to remember all those details. I'm willing to bet less than half of the guests are aware of the REAL PROPER GENUINE table manners. haha.

The food they serve are also weird. I tried looking at the menu on the table, but I still couldn't figure out what I was eating. The words seem familiar, I've probably encountered them in certain literary works, but they're not common terms you'd use everyday. There's this soup that tastes like coffee. Figures... it was some potato-leek- cappuccino-shellfish-tartar thingie. And this appetizer that seemed like raw fish, but it wasn't raw fish. More like slimy, gooey fish. And another appetizer that has no taste at all. How can you build up an appetite with that? And yet another appetizer, pictured above. Honestly, how many appetizers does one need to build up an appetite? Anyway, the way they served the stuff piqued my curiosity. I first thought it was for display, some sort of miniature plant. Then I saw smoke. maybe some candle light thingy? It looked like the stuff they use for aromatherapy, with some smoke coming from the glass container. When they served the stuff, turns out it was dry ice turning into gas, not smoke. I was witnessing sublimation in front of my very eyes! Cool huh? It was cold, not hot. it contained what looked like a miniscule scoop of sherbet or something. You'd figure they'd serve sherbet during dessert. It was extremely sour--- and also salty. Yeuck. That stuff was supposed to build up my appetite? when I checked the menu, it was indeed sherbet--- lemon sherbet, mixed with some unfamiliar ingredient. Probably some sort of caviar judging from the taste. It definitely didn't taste like dessert. And the main course? It didn't feel like a main course. I probably finished the whole thing in four bites. At least the actual dessert was good, and filling. It was mango cheesecake bordered with chocolate bars, served with a huge scoop of some unfamiliar flavored ice cream, plus some thin cookie thingies. I was already halfway through mine before I thought of taking a picture. hehe. I guess it was really filling, unlike the "main course", because a lot of guests didn't finished theirs. I probably would've gotten their share if I wasn't in a formal party. LOL. Heck, if not for the dessert, and if I wasn't amused with several showbiz personalities among the guests, I'd probably have had a miserable time. hehe.

Looking around, some guests seem to be enjoying themselves. For real. And what do you know! even my siblings! they seem comfortable enough in formal wear, while I felt uneasy and somewhat out of place. I'm comfortable with my own skin, and my own skin doesn't include such formal and high class appendages. Could the fact that I went to a state university in college, while they remained in private schools affected my perception of formal events? Could it have made me unadapted to such settings? Taking all things into consideration, that's the only variable factor between my upbringing and theirs. Heck, I could see how it has affected my taste in music, which they call "cheap". haha. And their friends are mostly straight english speaking, er--- snobs. hehe. Complete with their foreign twangs and accents, expressions like "fuckin' A!" and "OMG!", expensive stylish accessories, and all those shimmery stuff. Not that I wish to have friends like those. God knows I'm not comfortable with people like that. I shudder with the thought that I could have been like that. Come to think of it, I was kinda like that--- a million years ago. Could a difference as simple as going to a state university also account for my being uncomfortable in all things formal?

Could be.

But most probably--- not. hehe.

I don't care anyway. I'd pick fast food, anytime.