The Rebuff-er

Rejection is hard to swallow. It's hard enough for guys to get rejected when they ask girls out on dates. Even the nice approach--- "I think it's better if we would just remain friends", can really burst one's ego. I imagine how difficult it must be when girls get rejected. Although they're quick to deny it, girls are so much more emotional and vulnerable when compared to guys. A few of my closest friends are girls, and when they are turned down, they are DEVASTATED. Rejection isn't something that's easy to handle.

Just moments ago, a girl asked me out. I was surprised. Although I had a clue that she liked me--- constant text messages about nothing, hearing her friends teasing here about me, her friends posting hints on her blog... I always saw her as this shy girl who would never do anything this bold. Her friends are probably to blame. "In this day and age, it's okay for girls to ask guys out", "go for it! you'll never know if you don't ask him", "you should be confident! you're prettier than most girls!"... comments like that probably got to her. Thing is, I don't see her in the way she sees me. I only see her as a friend. I'm not even remotely attracted to her. Knowing how hard it is for girls to get rejected, how can I say no?

This isn't the first time it happened. It doesn't happen most of the time though... most girls get the subtle hints I'm giving out, that it just can't happen. Changing the topic when it veers towards dating. Treating them as if we're just pals. Talking to them about guy stuff, about gross things that you wouldn't dare mention to someone you're attracted. Telling them whom I like, the type of women I like. But sometimes, girls don't get those subtle hints. Or they do get those hints, but they tell themselves "what if I'm just misinterpreting him". Though I find it very difficult, sometimes I have to say it out loud, just to make it perfectly clear. I actually went out on a date before with someone I didn't like, because I didn't want to embarrass her. The encounter was pretty awkward. What's more, everything changed after that. It wouldn't have mattered whether or not I rejected her. It could never be the same again. When it's not out in the open, it's easy to dismiss everything as plain assumptions. When they just resort to anonymous letters, anonymous text and voice messages, anonymous emails, it's easy to ignore even when it's easy to figure out who they really are. Even when they're giving out obvious hints, even when their friends tell me directly, it's still easy to fool oneself into thinking otherwise. But when the cat's out of the bag, it's hard to close my eyes and pretend it isn't there.

30 minutes have passed and I still haven't replied to her message. I'd hate to be blunt, but maybe I have to say those words I myself hate to hear, that "we'd be better off as friends".

Still, I know we can never be friends like we did before. We can deny that it's there, we can say that nothing has changed, but that little bit of awkwardness would linger and probably remain.

Crap. Why do some people have to complicate things?