Sentimental Fool

Since my internet time practically disappeared, I suddenly had a lot of free time to burn this past week. I’ve finally finished two novels that I had no interest in reading anymore. I was so bored, I actually read something uninteresting to pass the time. I watched DVDs of old films that I haven’t watched. Would you believe that I’ve just watched Liar, Liar, even though it was released… what? 10 years ago? I completely ignored all those reruns on HBO because I did not find the movie interesting. I also got to watch Hollywood Homicide, which didn't appeal to me at all when it was released four years ago... I found both movies entertaining. It’s funny how we see hidden treasures during those few instances when we have some time to spare.

One afternoon, I decided to clean up my cabinet. The one where I store all my gadgets, books, toys from childhood, plus a whole lot of other junk. Junk is right. I had so much trash in there, I don’t know why I kept those stuff. Empty bottles of perfume. What was I thinking? Would I fill those bottles up with water, thinking I could make some diluted scent? Notebooks from elementary, high school, college. Was I thinking of reviewing all those lectures that seem pretty trivial these days? Old exam papers, report cards, probably to remind me that I was such a genius back then. Tickets to some forgotten programs, concerts, plays… to the trash they all went. Invites to birthdays, debuts, then later on weddings and baptisms. I kept all those even the invites from people I’m not even close to! I couldn’t help but smile looking at some of them. They reminded me of such beautiful memories. I kept the invites from close friends, and threw the rest away. I saw a box of old letters. I read most of them again. I laughed, I smiled. One letter I almost cried. Letters about friendship, love, sadness. Promises of staying together, words saying it was all over. Letters of beginnings, letters of endings. A huge part of my life, enclosed in one small box. And I couldn’t throw away even one of them. I’m such a sentimental fool.

And all those toys that regarded as treasures years ago… I’m thinking of actually giving some away to make room. I could use all that space for other things. I would’ve thought that would be crazy if I did that years ago. But I have to let go of a lot of things to make room for things that I need in the present. It can be blissful swimming in the seas of nostalgia, but there’s not much to gain when we keep on clinging in the past. It’s about time I get rid of all the excess baggage in my life. Instead of keeping me afloat, much of that weight only seems to bring me down.