sex, lies, and...

Last night was a total wreck, one of those nights i'd rather forget...

I was on my way home from an incredibly boring party. The place was fine, and so was the music... I just didn't feel like I belonged with the crowd. I was still in the mood for some fun, but most of my friends wanted to go home instead of going someplace else. Heard Embassy was the place to be on wednesdays, but no one was in the mood. Figured I'd do some joy riding since I didn't want to go home yet. Driving with no particular destination can be so relaxing. Found my way in makati, thought I'd do something I've never done before--- go inside a bar, alone.

So there I was at the bar, sitting alone, ordered a few beers, listening to music, when suddenly, this hot chick appeared out of nowhere, asking if I was alone too. Yeah she looked hot, dressed in a skanky attire, just the way I want it when I'm in a "playful" mood. Since I was a bit lonely that night---- driving alone put me in a pensive mood, been thinking about the mess that was my life for the past few months--- I fugured I could use some company. Small talk at first, what do you do for a living, where are you from... all that shit. But when the question became why are you alone--- I guess i poured my heart out. Opening up to a stranger can make you feel better at times, and the fact that he or she doesn't know much about you can make it easier to open up. I talked about my previous miserable relationship, how I absolutely despised my ex, family problems, how my life seemed to be going nowhere, that I'm stucked in a profession that I don't really seem to want... And she poured her heart out as well. A child out of wedlock, the father was an asshole who beat her up, and now nowhere to be found. Her sick mother with a heart ailment, and how expensive the medications were that she keeps missing doses. Add the fact that she's the sole breadwinner of the family because she's the eldest--- my life seemed to be a vacation compared to hers. A few more beers put me in the mood for something more, and I guess it put her in the same mood as well. Went to a relatively cheap motel. talked for a while, hugging, embracing, kissing... did the deed, which was almost perfect, then took a bath. After two hours, I was about to call room service to inform them we're checking out of the room. then out of the blue---

She asked to be paid. What the f*ck--?! This chick is a damn prostitute! She's not just some skank in a skank attire, she's a skank for hire! Not that I detest these people. In my curious teen years, I've had some experiences with them along with my friends. It's just that she caught me off guard! why didn't she tell me in the first place?! With a few more beers I would probably have gone with her--- PROBABLY. probably not... And she was asking for a lot. A whopping 5000 bucks! that's a lot for someone like me who has no more allowance since he's already graduated, but currently still unemployed. I refused to pay her. TOld her she came with me willingly. and besides, she came under false pretenses. If she wanted to be paid, she should have told me in the first place. The way things went, she came with me voluntarily. Then she was screaming like an insane person, that I tricked her, that she would destroy furniture, break thr TV, make a scene downstairs, bring me to the police station to see who suffered injustice, that she doesn't mind the shame since she's used to it, that she didn't mind getting jailed, yadda yadda yadda. I wanted to beat herup for tricking me, but I didn't wantto get jailed for that. I felt trapped! I didn't want to make a scene, I didn't want to cause a commotion and I hate being talked about! Being part of rumors seem to be an inherent part of my life! I don't want more rumors! And I'd hate it if my parents found out that I picked up a random prostitute and brought her to a seedy motel--- at least that's the impression they'll get. So I gave in. I pleaded. Showed her my wallet. Just 4000 bucks. minus 500 for the room. I can only give her 3500, and that's all I have. She told me she'll go with me to my house so i can get more money. If I don't have money, she'll tell my parents what happened. She's making my blood boil. Told her NO WAY! Then the bitch said if i didn't want my parents to find out, she'll get my watch instead. Told her no F*cking way! If she'll insist, my fear of making a scene would have dissipated, I was getting angry! REALLY ANGRY! I was about to beat her up! And I guess she got that. After a few more minutes of bargaining, she agreed. Dropped her off at a nearby bus station. God, I wanted to shoot her! or push her out of my car! But I thought, what If her story was true, her sick mother, her child, her poor family---- I guess the thought that those things might be true kept me sane. So what If 3500 bucks was practically stolen from me? That's almost nothing compared to the needs of that poor family. Of course, she was probably lying about it, some script she's been using for months, maybe years, to get pity. Yeah, I'm aware of that. But believing that the things she said were true gave me some degree of comfort. After all, poverty is the main reason people like her are driven to their profession, right? Bah, Now I'm thinking I was charitable. And i have to admit, It felt good. Might as well think it was money well spent.

God, what a miserable night.