Ode to Alcohol

If there's one thing I'm glad to have found in this world, it would be alcohol. Way back in my young teen years, I hated how it tasted--- but I knew I HAD to like it eventually. Learning how to love alcohol seems to be one of the rites of passage in becoming a man. I didn't want to be labeled as a wuss, so I swallowed every bitter drop as if it was sweet nectar. And after so many bottles and shots, it eventually did taste like sweet nectar. LOL. After a few more years, I craved for that stuff. But what I really love about alcohol is not the taste, but its effect on me.

You see, I'm one of those shy types. YEah I can hear my close friends mocking already, but ask them how I was the very first moment we met, and they would realize that I realy am one of them shy types. Upon initial introduction, im often at a loss for words. Often i would stay quiet and just listen to conversation. It would take a long time before I learn to open up, and in the process, show my true colors. That's a good thing according to my humorous friends--- because if I already showed them my true colors the day we've met, they would not want to be friends with me. Yup, ladies and getlemen--- my friends are great comedians. ;)

I didn't really like being shy. I often wish i could be like those other people who stand out in a crowd, who can take command of a crowd because of their assertiveness! But I'm always resigned in the background... but not if I'm under the influence of alcohol! Like a magic potion, it makes the shyness vanish. Most people are surprised with the sudden transformation, it's like Dr. Jekyll becoming Mr. Hyde! hehe. With a few shots and a few bottles, I instantly fire up the crowd, put the life in the party! THat's what I like about being tipsy or drunk. It makes me feel alive, it makes me feel more free. Though like any miracle drug, it still has some undesirable effects.

I've seen pictures and videos of myself taken while I'm in a drunk state, and it's not a pretty sight. With just a few drinks, I just become more assertive, talkative, and outgoing. But if I have more, I turn into this crazy person, who keeps on blabbering non stop, mostly nonsense, and often intertwined with cuss words and other expletives. And the way I sing or dance when I'm drunk may seem amusing to others, but i can't help but feel shame while I'm watching myself. I've had several blackouts, when I did some pretty crazy stuff without me remembering when I wake up in the morning. Thankfully, according to witnesses, I have not done anything that would cause me a great deal of embarrassment--- then again, maybe they're not just telling me to save me from shame. hehe. Also, I've done many things that I regret afterwards while I'm under the influence of alcohol. All of those incidents happened while I'm on my way home---- alone. Or someone would approach me during a party, i those few moments--- when i'm alone. What those incidents were--- I'll save em for another post. :) As long as I'm with friends up to the moment I fall asleep, I'm okay. Wingmen who always watch out for me, I can't live without. They deserve to be given medals.

Knowing this, I try to moderate my drinking. I guess it's part of getting old, but mostly I try to control my drinking to avoid doing crazy, embarrassing things. There was a time in my late teen years when I turned to drinking when I have problems--- and I did have lot of problems at that time, so I often drank alone. Thank God I never became an alcoholic. Now, I get drunk easier--- i guess that comes with age also, I'm becoming less tolerant of that sweet poison. My friends find it funny how I often say no when they invite mo for a few drinks. Then after a great deal of persistence I would give in. And with the first few bottles, it seems like I'm not enjoying--- I'm really not enjoying because I'm trying to control my drinking, and I'm thinking of the possible consequences! But when I reach that certain level--- WHAM!!! KAPOW!!! there's no return! I drink 'til I'm dead drunk--- or at least while fundings and supplies last. hehe.

I'd like to think alcohol is all good--- I guess it is all good for me, as long as I drink in moderation. The fact that I currently have no source of funding would mean less drinking sessions. I guess my major drinking would be limited to parties with drink all you can booze. My liver must be rejoicing with that news. But a friend recently showed me the joys of Johnnie Walker... and Beer + 1 tab Diazepam ---I guess my liver is rejoicing too soon. LOL