10 Years

I had lunch with one of my high school friends two days ago. It's been years since we last saw each other. A day before I quit, I managed to admit her uncle in PGH --- why they chose PGH I'll never know, because if I had money I will never have myself admitted at the private rooms knowing how lousy the service is. Even if it was for free I'd still choose another hospital. Anyway, as a sign of gratitude, she said she wanted to meet so she can give me the carrot cake that she baked especially for me. Wow, she's gone a long way from baking oatmeal cookies for me way back in high school. lol. As I remembered how much I loved the stuff she cooked and baked, I happily obliged.

We had lunch and coffee afterwards, which stretched for about four hours. It was great catching up. The talk was nostalgic, if a bit bittersweet. Man, it has been 10 years since we've graduated form high school. How different are we now? What have we accomplished? For one thing, we're both unemployed at this time. lol. She took up engineering in college, majored in robotics--- a field which she had no interest in whatsoever. All that education wasn't really wasted she said--- it gave her a sense of accomplishment. What she really wanted to do was cook. So after some odd jobs here and there for several years, she opened her own small diner more than a year ago--- which she had to give up because the work was too tiring for just one person, and the business wasn't making much money. Such is the sad reality--- work that makes us happy are usually not practical in this life. Now she's doing small catering jobs occasionally,and the money she earns she gives back to her parents, because she still owed them a huge sum for that business venture she did last year. At least on the outside, she looked as happy as she said she is.

As for me, i know where those 10 years went. Four years in college--- which was great, if only for the great friends I've met, even if I felt like i was enrolled in the wrong course. Four years in med school, where I felt even more lost--- thank God I've met new friends whom I can count on for support during those years of uncertainty. A year in internship, where I fell in love with that government hospital despite its numerous shortcomings--- not everything can be seen by a lowly intern, when hospital life can still be viewed through rose colored glasses. Half a year of being a bum, trying to enjoy life to the fullest--- that period of time when you're no longer a student, the time before you're employed. Seven months as a first year resident in surgery... then I decided to quit. Now I'm unemployed again. I bet no one that I knew from high school saw that coming. An honor student in high school, unemployed after 10 years. Come to think of it, a number of us who belong to the honors class are unemployed, or stuck in ordinary, run off the mill jobs---- far from the stellar careers everyone projected years ago.

A decade is a long time. I can't help but feel that the last 10 years of my life, despite those sporadic great moments, were somehow--- wasted. All that work, all that effort... only to end up where I am now.

Funny how 10 years ago, when we were asked by our teachers how we see ourselves ten years in the future, we always viewed ourselves as successful in our chosen fields, how we viewed the future as ideal, the way we hope things will be.

10 years ago, I never would have thought I'd be a person who has a physician's license, but unemployed because at the ripe age of 27 he still has no clue on which direction he's going to take in his life.

10 years ago, I said I'd be someone content--- because he has accomplished the things he wanted to accomplish at that point in his life.