I've been having recurrent respiratory tract infections for several months now. I keep on getting colds, mere days after the previous episode has resolved. I've been coughing for weeks now, and it doesn't seem to be resolving. Wounds from the accident two weeks ago seem to be taking a long time to heal. One wound even got infected, even if I took the necessary precautions to prevent infection. And I seem to grow tired easily these days.
Paranoia sets in again.
Normally, I would've dismissed such symptoms. Coughs and colds are a dime a dozen. Not all wounds heal easily. Wounds can still get infected even when all precautions are done. And I probably tire easily because I haven't been exercising for weeks now.
Still, I can't help but wonder. Am I immunocompromised? If I am, what could be the cause? It's horrifying to even entertain the idea... that my promiscuous lifestyle has finally caught up with me.
I always said I don't mind dying. Death isn't something I'm afraid of. But if I have the choice of how I would die, i definitely wouldn't want to die that way.
4 comments:
TARNISHED dude . if you ever saw what a TREASURE this life is you WOULD mind dieing!!!!!!!.
AUTHOR OF THIS BLOG. DO NOT READ BEYOND THIS.. ITS NOT MEANT FOR YOU .
for people who READ THIS other than the AUTHOR.
damn I hate this why do I comment here, ?
here is a privileged man . and he picks and Chooses what is appropriate in DEATH for himself.
such arrogance. . at his age.
as brilliant as he is in his writing . he MAY not get it .
he's a GOOD person .
but SO self indulgent .
he ssezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
i definitely wouldn't want to die that way.
huh??
huh?
WHAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wonder what he would do if he saw a child of 3 or 4 years old grab his hand and beg for water because he hasn’t eaten in 2 days . . cuase they cant AFFORD FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. and he wants to “ pick and choose” his death ?
arrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhh. ok ok ok
I'm otta here. this dude is brilliant .
.. BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..
he will ALWAYS be TARNISHED. for no other reason ,. its what self indulgence does. .
I thought I could inspire. ..
he has given new meaning to
fools rush in where angels fear to tread//
I only wanted to inspire.
I'm a fool for trying to inspire ‘
he's contemplating his choice on HOW to die’ ??????? AT HIS AGE WHEN LIFE SHOULD BE LIVED TO THE FULLEST/???????????????
what a fool I am to try and inspire.
I have better things to do than deal with a gifted person with no balls. .
[ well at least he hasn’t found them yet] . I'm not going to waste my time till he finds out or not.
\ I wish him well .
I Dont think he will ever know the meaning of
SHORT LIVED IS SPRING IN THE LIFE OF THE WORLD
ENJOY THE BRAVE SPECTACLE WHILE IT LASTS
you know what? I think posting comments like that when you don't even know the author personally is highly irresponsible. It's his blog, and he can post anything he wants. His blog can serve any purpose he wants it to serve. A person should be free to post his innermost thoughts without worrying about what others might say. He doesn't have to worry about your judgment.I read your other comments, and I doubt if you can serve as an INSPIRATION by being so preachy. You're not his father. You're not his boss.If anything, you are exactly like the people who make his life miserable, the same people who keep fueling his angst.
dear anon
your RIGHT !!!!!!!!! this is HIS blog.
and he can comment anyway he wants to . and if you read it . he’s QUITE eloquent and rather brilliant.
i love his writing
and again your RIGHT when you say he should be able to post his innermost thought s. but then again its made PUBLIC for comment , it invites others. he could delete that link for comment if he wanted to . .
I just happened to stumble across it and comment . . .
I'm NOT in any way judging this chap. one doesn't have to know him to see how brilliant and sensitive he is.
. it comes through in his writing
. and I DOUBT if he worries about what others say.
. that's NOT the point this isnt about his a character. its his lack of using his character to his fullest ability.
this dude is a DYNAMO.,
. its that simple. if he was a dork or a loser I would just pass on . .
but it isnt like that .
. again if you read what I posted in this I have nothing but compassion for him because i was kinda the same way when I was his age.
. [ out look only.]
I'm probably much better looking hahahahahahha,. ok ok ok a little humour injected there. ]
I hope he didn’t see me come off as “ preachy” it CERTAINLY wasn’t that at all . . but being a aggressive brute [ me] by nature it might seem like that to someone softer in nature.
I dont see him as soft on anything . thats why I was so up front.
his style of writing is to “pure” and full of inner strength. . nothing weak about this dude. anyway
and NO I'm not his father nor do I care about his father . this is just MAN to MAN stuff.
.. HIM AND ME. .
. actually more me than him . but it pains me to see others in pain . . he DINT ask me for advice, so the problem is with ME not with HIM!!!!!!!!!.
I'm the idiot here. . I admit it.
I'm NOT his boss. nor do I even know what the dude does nor do I care. but I sense its in the medical area. so big deal .
everything I commented or showed any interest in was his “ spirituality” [ or his lack of identity with it] which is totally right on and powerful. .
not being clear on that it is MY error.
and I'm NOT like the people who make his life miserable. [ heyyyyyyyyy I'm a nice guy].
only HE CAN DO THAT . and that's my point. [ were ALL responsible for our OWN actions in the long run]
but my unnecessary free advice probably comes off as a contributing factor or preachy etc. .
. [ again STUPID ME].
I DO appreciate your perspective.
the ONLY one fueling is ANGST is himself. . so stop passing the buck, I was just trying to offer a helping hand, [ which I shouldn’t have]
I opened my self to share a different approach to help another MAN walk a little more peacefully on this hiway of life. . that's all .
it’s a technique that seems very successful with soldiers that I had worked with from post Vietnam stress,.
anyway.
ill back off
the ONLY one I think that learned anything here was ME.
if i come back here il just READ the damn blog and keep my UNWANTED adn UNASKED for Opinion to myself.
thanks ANON for your perspective.
lets hope he finds his own peace and happiness his own way. .
after all it is HIS life not mine.
we make choices. and from those choices we hopefully LEARN . OTHERS are NOT responsible for our actions . WE are.
pakialamero
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