1 to force an evil spirit to leave a person or place by using prayers or magic.
2 to remove the bad effects of a frightening or upsetting event.
If only there were ways to exorcise an ex- girlfriend.
I'm not talking about my latest ex. I already have a rather lengthy post about her--- although I could use some magic to remove her bad effects, too. This time, I'm talking about my ex ex. My ex girlfriend before the last one. That ended years ago, yet I can still feel her ill effects. The fact the she still makes her presence felt makes those ill effects linger even more.
We were members of the same religious organization--- that was how we got to know each other. I expressed my desire to court her, which didn't really last long. After a few days, shw became my girlfriend. Which didn't last long either. On the second month of our relationship, I found out she was two timing me. One of my friends, who was organizing a fashion show in college told me about it. When she was asking several people to recommend several models, a girl from another college told her she should ask my ex's boyfriend. Naturally, my friend thought it was me she was pertaining to, so she said she already asked me and I already said No. But the girl was puzzled, and told my friend that she was not pertaining to me, but to some guy in med school. When I found out about this, I immediately confronted her. In an instant, everything became clear. She was the one who scheduled are dates, so our dates wouldn't be conflicting with her duty schedule at the hospital. I was gullible enough to believe her. Apparently, she was scheduling our dates so as not to create conflict with her dates with the other guy. I went to her dorm, but she was not there. Her dorm mate said she was at a bar, organizing an event for their organization. I tried calling her, but she won't answer. She just sent a text message saying she was busy and that she'll call me later. I kept calling her, and still she won't answer. I sent her a text message saying I know she's two timing me and that it was all over between us. Then she called me. At first she denied it, but when I told her several facts I've learned, it made her impossible to deny, so she eventually admitted it. I asked her what made her do it. Did I do something wrong? Were there things that I should've done, but didn't do? She said no. She said i was almost perfect. Her excuse was lame. She said she was being courted by two heartthrobs [sic], and that made it impossible for her to choose, so she chose both. Simple as that. It was that fuck*n' simple. The other guy also became her boyfriend 4 days after I became her boyfriend. She said sorry, but I didn't want to speak to her ever again. Call it a double standard, but I think it's absolutely unforgivable when it's the girl who does the two timing. I just think girls are naturally monogamous, with all the value they give relationships and less on the physical and sexual stuff... and I think it would take an unnaturally, incredibly lustful woman to yearn for more than one relationship. Every day I kept on receiving multiple text messages, multiple calls, saying she's sorry and that she's realized her mistake and she wants me back. She'll immediately break up with the guy once I take her back. I never thought she was sincere. If she was sincere, wouldn't she break up with the guy first before asking me to take her back. WTF! she's keeping the guy as a security blanket! what was he, some form of insurance, In case we don't get back together? The fact that she seemed to be using another guy made me detest her even more. And the guy seemed to think I was trying to steal his girlfriend, he wasn't aware that the girl fooled us both. I don't know what stories she was telling him. I never replied to her text messages, which made her even more pathetic. She also seemed to tell her friends a different version of what really happened, like she was a victim, or I hurt her, that I broke up with her for no reason. It seemed that those friends also didn't know she was two timing me, based from the hate text messages her friends have been texting me. "how can you do that to her? she loves you so much, you pr*ck, you assh*le!"
Here are some text messages from her that for some reason I've managed not to delete from my phone. I've been receiving text mesages from her everyday with basically the same content.
09-29-03. Hi! Good morning! You just crossed my mind... because I'm missing you. Hope you're doing fine. Sorry but I can't help but think of you, memories of you always cross my mind. i guess you're already asleep now, I just wish you'll have the sweetest dreams tonight.
01-13-04. Hi! how are you? Do you have a gf already? i'm really desperate in winning you back. I told you before I won't be able to get over my feelings for you and I'm telling you now I still can't. Pls text back.
01-09-05. I thought you can go out even if you're on duty. I'm visiting a friend who works at the same hospital you're in. Can't you spare a minute for me? I have no boyfriend now. You know who I really love.
Eventually, she broke up with the guy almost two years ago. That's when she sent the last text message. I didn't believe her then, because several times she has sent me messages saying they broke up already, only for me to find out they're still together. She must think I'm stupid or something. I didn't really care anyway. It has been 5 years! i was way over her! I admit I was tempted to get back together with her less than a year after we broke up. But it has been 5 long years! I've moved on a long, long time ago! i wondered why can't she? Does she really love me that much, with the way she keeps on wanting to get back together after all these years? Maybe it's all just an illusion of love. Or maybe because our relationship was short lived, there were still many things she would've wanted to happen between us? Or maybe she simply feels guilty because of what she did. Her conscience won't stop bothering her, and being persistent is her way of making ammends. It doesn't really matter anyway. Maybe she does still love me (though with the way she's acting, obssession would be a better term). but I don't love her anymore... what she wants can't happen. No relationship can happen if the love is one-sided.
The text messages changed though--- a few months after I told her I had a girlfriend already. Miraculously, it seemed that she only wanted to be friends, it seemed that she has accepted the fact that we can no longer get back together. Looking back, it may have been just one of her tactics. i thought we can finally be plain friends, so I made the mistake of asking a favor from her-- I asked her to buy a book for me, because the seller was in PGH, where she also worked. When i met her to get the book and pay for it, it seemed like we were really just friends, nothing more. She introduced me to her co-nurses as her ex- boyfriend. She still sent text messages after that, though less frequently.
Then i had my internship in PGH. She started acting weird again--- probably fueled by the fact that i told her my ex and I broke up because of the letter she gave me. She kept bringing me food when I'm on duty, whcih is something a girlfriend does. The the text messages became weird again.
06-18-05. hey, tell me. Am I getting annoying again? I really can't stop myself from texting you. I've turned you off so many times in this lifetime, even leveled myself to lowly creatures just so I can express myself to you. I can't imagine you've considered me the most irritating person you've known. But I can't help it. I just waned to be heard! I just want you to recognize my existence!SOrry if I didn't keep my promise to stay away from you and not bother you anymore. i'm not asking for too much, just your patience to tolerate my impulsiveness at times. I'm really sorry. I'll try my best to control myself when it comes to you. THanks for understanding. Goodnight!
er--- I saw hints of psychotic behavior there. But I still continued replying to her text messages, and I greeted her everytime we passed by each other, because she never directly said she wanted to get back together like she did before. Maybe she was just being extra friendly and I was misinterpreting her actions. Maybe I was jumping to conclusions... Then September of last year, she told me she was going to the states because her application for work at a hospital in California was accepted. I though--- finally! if the distance can't make her get over me, I don't know what will!
Apparently, the distance can't cure whatever is ailing her. Even if it was expensive, she still sent a lot of text messages. She still called me long distance, just to say hi, and that she was lonely. Then out of the blue...
03-13-06. By the way, I know this will sound crazy to you, but If i propose to you right now, will you accept it? Please do! You're the man I know I'll marry. Please give it a thought. Yup, I'm crazy, and I'm been this way ever since when it comes to you.
She got one thing right. She is crazy!!! what was she thinking? we don't even know each other well enough, and she's asking me to marry her?! Since then, i ignored her calls, I ignored her text messages and emails. If my ignoring her doesn't wake her up from her delusions, nothing will... and it seemed that nothing will. The calls became more persistent. then she eventually got tired.
When I was having my pre-residency, she sent me a message that she was back in the country for vacation. I ignored her text messages. Apparently, she still had a lot of friends in PGH because she did work there for more than 3 years. Strangers have been hounding me, asking me if I changed my number, that their friend wants to contact me, asking why I'm ignoring her... it's so hard to deal with all those questions form people you don't know! Then on my last week, I did bump into her. Good thing i was busy running errands, that we didn't have a chance to talk. She kept sending text messages, the last one I received on my last night on duty. She was asking to have coffee with me because she's going back to the states on the next day. What exactly did she expect to happen? That I would leave my post just to have coffee with her? She knows I can't leave my post in the hospital while I'm on duty even if I wanted to. And of course, I did not want to. that was the last i heard from her, and I'm sure it won't be the last. I'm beginning to think of her as Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. Just last night, I felt her presence again. One of her friends in PGH was on duty with one of the clerks i've worked with, and apparently that friend of hers has been telling people stuff about me. I haven't had a chance to talk to the clerk, but the one thing I've learned was that this friend of my ex told her that she knows me because I courted her friend, but she turned me down and she never became my girlfriend. geez. who knows what other lies she has been spouting. I can't really blame that friend of hers. My ex has told distorted versions of what really happened to her classmates and friends 5 years ago. SHe must still be telling distorted versions of reality to her friends now. Sometimes i wonder if women are really prone to manipulate reality to suit their needs, if they're prone to making variations of what actually happened just to make themselves look good, or to make them look like victims. Then again, maybe I'm simply a magnet for women who manipulate reality to their own liking... I'm just prone to having relationships with such liars. That's how unlucky I am.
If only there was a prayer or some form of magic to keep her away, and to remove her upsetting effects. If only it was that easy.
Maybe i should face the fact that i'm extremely unlucky when it comes to love... with two consecutive failures, maybe a lucky charm is what I need.
But with my predilection for neurotic and psychotic women --- rather than a lucky charm, exorcism seems to be of a greater necessity.
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