In The Spotlight Again

I hate being the center of attention. Yeah, I have the occasional fantasies of becoming a rock star, but I would never take the step to convert those fantasies into reality. That fantasy would forever remain in the confines of my bedroom and bathroom. LOL. If I liked all the attention, I would've agreed to several modeling and acting jobs offered to me a few years back. The easy money made those offers really tempting... but after some thought, I came to the conclusion that that just wouldn't be me. I wouldn't be comfortable with that line of part time work. I hate being noticed, it makes me really uncomfortable. I hate being talked about, I hate it when people keep looking at me, and especially when they blatantly stare at me. That's why I always try to keep a low profile... something that would never work no matter how hard I try, according to some of my close friends, because some of my features really stand out in a crowd. Like my eyebrows. Or my light complexion. Plus the fact that for some weird reason I still look clean even when I'm all sweaty and wearing really dirty clothes, and even when I haven't taken a bath for a week, which made me really stand out in that place where I used to work. Even when I'm minding my own business and my facial expression practically screams LEAVE ME ALONE, sometimes even a stranger would approach--- in the library, in a restaurant, in bar, in the gym, wherever. When I'm at work, I'm usually the one patients approach for consult. For some reason, I just stick out even when i'm not doing anything.

By now a lot of people have heard the news that I would most probably be going back to where I used to work-- practically a done deal since I already took the exam and I'm scheduled for another interview this week. Just like that, I'm the talk of the town again--- that is, if they ever did stop talking about me. As much as I'd hate it, all eyes would be on me the very moment I step on those hallowed grounds again. To make matters worse, it has come to my attention that the things my dad did late last year has become common knowledge... and people ahave been talking about it repeatedly. How he asked several politicians and a number of the biggest contributor's to the hospital fund to call the hospital director, insisting that they should hire me back--- never mind the fact that I did not really want to. It's what my dad wants. I found it hard to keep a low profile before, no matter how hard I tried to stay in the background. Now all the attention is enormously magnified,probably a hundredfold.

If only there was a way to turn off that damn spotlight.