Ramblings.

Whoa. It's been almost a month since I've last updated this blog! I've been a bit busy during the first two weeks of December, and just when I was about to post something...

BROADBAND BLUES

Our broadband modem conked out on me. I haven't been able to go online for about a week. It wouldn't have taken that long if only our Internet service provider immediately sent a technician to our house to check on the modem. For some reason, they found it hard to believe that the modem that they've provided would be broken after only two years. They must think I'm someone who doesn't know anything about computers. They kept suggesting that I try this and that, a lot of troubleshooting for the usual problems. I did as they said because they wouldn't send anyone unless they're absolutely sure that the modem was broken--- and as expected, nothing worked. It wasn't the software, it wasn't the LAN card, it wasn't the cable. It was the god damned modem!!! So when they finally agreed to send someone, it took three whole days before someone actually came. After sales support form our ISP definitely SUCKS.

THE TWILIGHT ZONE

That's where i thought I was when I was watching that piece of crap movie entitled TWILIGHT. The sound of all those girls gushing and screeching in the background made the entire experience even more nauseating. For the life of me, I could never understand why some people have been praising this film to high heavens. And I could never begin to understand what's with all that hype. Maybe I just can't appreciate this film because I never liked romantic films to begin with. Maybe I couldn't appreciate this film because i wasn't in the mood for something brainless when I went inside the movie theater. From what I could gather, I guess you could only appreciate this film if:

a) you are a girl within the age bracket of 6-16, and therefore do not look for much depth in movies.

b) you are a girl who is a hopeless romantic.

c) you are a girl with some serious vampire fetish.

d) you are a girl who's a sucker for any movie with a hint of romance

or

e) you are a guy who thinks like a hopelessly romantic teenage girl with a vampire fetish who's also a sucker for any movie with a hint of romance.

As for the rest of the human race, we're better off watching something else. Okay, so it's not really that bad. The basic premise, although littered with several cliches and a number of misses, is actually quite interesting. Kinda like Buffy 90210, if you're into that sort of thing. Heck, I've seen movies released on the big screen that are far worse--- but I expected something more because of all the hype surrounding this film. The whole movie feels like a B movie--- from the cheesy acting, to the corny dialogue, to the lame special effects. I would put it on the same level as The Covenant, which was released a few years ago. If people saw that film for what it really was, I wonder why they can't see through Twilight.

Yeesh. I'm still wondering if I could ever get those two hours of my life back.

TO STAY OR TO GO

Incidentally, me and my friend from where I used to work have reached an agreement. We've decided to take up residency in the USA, having realized that the future is really bleak for young physicians in this country. He has already resigned from where we used to work and we're on the process of studying all those things we've learned in med school again, and hopefully we could take the first exam (out of four) by March or April. And yeah, my dad agreed with this plan, but he says i have to go back here after my training--- haha. not if I can help it. Things holding me back? Yup, there's still my principles, that i'd rather serve my own countrymen, but I guess I would be able to adapt after some time. That's something I could get over with. Loneliness? I could live without my family and friends, part of me relishes being a loner anyway. On the back of my mind, there's only one thing really holding me back...

THE MATRIARCH

Yeah, my grandmother's been awfully sick AGAIN lately. Her doctor already told us last year that she's already counting the days, give or take a few years. She definitely won't make it for another decade, with the myriad of diseases in her system. She was rushed to the hospital two weeks ago, she was already in heart failure. Prior to that, another encounter with the father, about me not being able to recognize that she was in heart failure, about me being seemingly aloof and not caring at all. I've already posted about my issues in this blog, on why I seem not to care, that I'm starting to sound like a broken record. I don't like being a doctor. I hate internal medicine the most, the realm in which her diseases fall into. I hate the fact that even at home I can't escape from the thing I hate the most. To make matters worse, I find the immense pressure of treating my own grandmother hard to take, and the lofty expectations of my family making it even more difficult. She'd make an pretty good case presentation--- one that I would find very hard to present. Diabetes, myocardial infarction, heart failure, recurrent urinary tract infection, nephropathy, hypertension, recurrent pneumonia, and just recently, squamous cell carcinoma, which was already excised a week ago, but we're still awaiting the final pathology report.... hey, at least that last one's surgical... and yet I failed to recognize the lesion for what it really was. D-OH! Yeah, on one hand, I'd be glad to leave. It would be great to be away from all that pressure. It would be a relief to finally escape. But on the other hand, I'd be away for more or less five years. I'd hate to be away when she finally croaks... I owe a lot to her, almost my entire state of being. In spite of everything, in my heart I know I really love her and I'd hate to see her go.

WEDDING BELLS

Back to my friend from where I used to work. We've been having several discussions, one of which was the process of residency applications... which programs were feasible for us, which ones were hard to get to, how to make it easier to get accepted... The fact that the US is in recession won't be a problem since healthcare is one of those sectors not affected by the recession. i.e. there are no massive layoffs, and hiring is still on the upswing. Then he says something about having a better shot at getting into the program we like if we were citizens of that country. He's planning to marry his girlfriend this year, and that girl is a US citizen. As for me? He suggested that I marry his sister, who's also a US citizen (his family migrated years ago). Instantly, my eyes popped. What the fuck?! I'm not going to marry someone I don't even know! He says it would be okay with his sister, we don't really need to be together, and we could easily get a divorce after. I couldn't help but laugh. Was he serious? Apparently, he was. But I just couldn't agree with him. Even if I knew her, I can't marry someone I don't love. Heck, I don't even believe in the sacrament of marriage in the first place, so I don't give a fuck about religious ramifications. And even if it was okay with her, marrying her for the reason of residency applications would be blatantly using her. I just can't do that. Using someone for selfish gains is against my principles.

But there's that wild, foolish side of me that got a bit excited with the prospect of a shotgun marriage. There's that sort of thrill when I think about the idea of getting married just for the heck of it. So who knows? It's going to be a long 2009 for me, full of promise, different paths to take, a chance for a fresh start. Let's just see how things turn out. LOL. :)

Oh yeah...

MERRY CHRISTMAS

May it be a yuletide season for all of us. :)