One Year Older

After what i referred to as my "worst birthday ever" last year, I was pretty sure my birthday this year would be better. After all, I'm not asking for much. i just want a day free from problems and hassles. That's not too much to ask for, right? I don't really care about the celebrating part. To have dinner with family and a few friends has become mandatory, so I just go with the flow--- my family believes there should be a gathering on birthdays, because another year in one's life is something we should be thankful for, therefore it should be celebrated with the people closest to one's heart.

When I checked the calendar a few weeks ago, i was surprised to see that my birthday fell on a holy week this year. On a Maundy Thursday to be exact. Bummer. So much for the drinking session I was hoping to have after dinner. I figured all bars would be closed. And even if there would be a bar open (probably owned by a non catholic), I figured most of my friends wouldn't like to be drinking on a holy thursday. It just isn't much fun drinking alone. Plus all those holy week traditions that I'm practically forced to do by my overly religious grandparents would probably put me in a bad mood.

But surprise, surprise! it didn't turn out bad. We found a restaurant that was open. And it had a bar! And even though some of my close friends weren't able to come--- can't get out of their family's holy week tradition was the number one excuse, the second being on duty at the hospital... the right people came. Although there were moments when this one girl became incredibly annoying that it almost ruined my evening, which she does every so often to the point that I already got used to it... I still keep on wondering to this day why we have been friends all these years despite her attributes that a lot of people (including me) have grown to despise. And that instance earlier in the evening when another explosive argument almost happened, when my dad kept insisting that I go to the church and pray for a few minutes just to say thanks, even when we were running late and it was the restaurant's policy to cancel reservations after a 20 minute waiting period... and that second on the brink of another heated argument for the night with him in the parking lot... But overall, it was a nice evening. Although I didn't get drunk to the point of ecstasy, I did get to drink. LOL. But most importantly, I got to reconnect with a few friends that I haven't seen for a while.

The worst part? When i got home. I checked my emails, and I received computer generated messages from several services that I subscribed to. Happy 28th birthday, they said. Woooooohoooooo. I suddenly felt old. Funny how just one digit can make that big difference. At 27 I still felt so young. At 28, I feel that I'm no longer young. When my dad was 28, he already had 4 kids. Heck, when my dad was 28, I was already 8 years old. In two short years, I'll be saying goodbye to my carefree years of being a 20-something. In just two short years, I'd look pathetic acting like the way I'm acting now. I need to start planning, I need to have some stability--- but how can I when my future is still clouded in uncertainty, when I still don't know which direction to take? Who wants to grow old anyway, when living a carefree life with little responsibility is so much easier? It's okay to live life with such a perspective as a young adult, but I can't really refer to myself as a young adult anymore. Never mind the fact that I still have no stable job, never mind the fact that I still live with my parents. I am getting old. Everyone gets older, it's inevitable. Living a carefree life as one approaches his thirties is shameful, if not downright pathetic. The journey through life is a journey we must continuously travel. There are no stop overs. Even when we grow weary, we have to move on. To think otherwise would be somewhat delusional. Unlike some people i know who refer to themselves as perennial 20 somethings, who chose to live a life with no worries and responsibilities, I feel that it's better to look down the road and plan for the rigorous journey ahead.

I guess it's about time I start acting my age.