One thing that sucks about being in the medical field is the hierarchy. Take a look at some of my entries two years ago, and you'll see how I felt about it. I don't know what is it about physicians that makes their seniority such a big deal. Just because most laymen see them as God, that doesn't mean they should expect their fellow physicians to see them the same way... no matter how ahead of the game they are.
I was talking to a friend who just resigned from residency training a month ago. He said he couldn't take all that red tape and seniority crap. About how someone who's just a year ahead of him can order him around and ask him to do petty things, like buying a can of soft drink during a busy day, and he should buy it as this specific store--- or else. Or how they could ask him to wash their cars, to clean their apartments... things that are definitely not part of his job description as a surgery resident. And when he tries to reason out, the usual response would be "this is the way it has always been. If you can't stand it, then you are welcome to leave." Man, I could really relate. I don't know why some people believe that just because you are training somebody, you have the right to treat them as dirt. I don't know why some people think that just because you are sharing your knowledge with another, that person owes you such a huge favor that you can demand anything from him. I hated the hierarchy so much. I hated it when someone who's only just a few years ahead of you can act so high and mighty. And I most especially hated it when that person who's acting so high and mighty isn't really any good at all. Heck, in some aspects, I'm even better. Back then I told myself I would never be like them when I become a senior. It's just not in my personality to treat others as such. For me, it is better to have juniors who do as they're told because respect they respect you, rather than subordinates who do as they're told out of fear. I'd rather have subordinates who treat you as a friend, rather than those who put a smiling face when you're facing them, but then stab you in the back the first opportunity that they get. But we all know how it all turned out. It would take more time before I finally become the senior resident that I've always imagined myself to be.
Most doctors have huge egos. That statement may be anecdotal, but it's a fact that's widely perceived. I guess it's because they know more about human life than the average person. It doesn't end with med school or residency training. Learning is a life long process. If a doctor gives up his quest for knowledge, he's going to be left behind by his peers. Intellect has become such a premium, so much that when someone comes along who seems to be better, most egos are easily trampled upon--- mountains are made out of mole hills, feelings are hurt, when they shouldn't even be hurt in the first place.
Last month, I had a sort of falling out with a certain consultant whom I used to see as a friend. For those who aren't in the medical field, a consultant is a doctor who is already done with residency and fellowship training. Thus, he or she already has a private practice, and they serve as mentors for med students and residents. Usually, residents put a wall between consultants and themselves. It's not just about the age difference and the disparity of interests that would result from such an age gap... I mean, you couldn't really show everything about yourself to a person who's continually teaching and evaluating you. You have to keep your best foot forward at all times, never show your vulnerabilities. You can't get too close or attached.
But she was different. She treated me as one of her peers... and her behavior is usually not to be expected from someone her age. Heck, most times she acts like me. So eventually, the wall broke down and i talked to her the way I talked to my friends... because to me she was no longer a consultant. She was a friend. And then all of a sudden just because I tried to reason out and I refused to do what she wanted because I didn't think it was the right thing, she had to bring up the fact that she was already a BOARD CERTIFIED CONSULTANT and I was just a mere resident, so I should do as I was told.
First of all, she was not the consultant on duty that time so i didn't think she had a right to put her fingers where they didn't belong. I had a point. If she wanted to do something, shew should do it the next day when she'll go on duty, out of respect for the consultant who was currently on duty. I really didn't understand why that was such a big deal. I didn't understand why she had to bring up her seniority just to push a point across. And even if she was the one on duty, I don't give a fuck if she's a board certified consultant or not. For one thing, I'm not in a training program. She's not training me, and neither is she the one who's giving me my salary. She can bring out all her papers,certificates and citations and shit, and they all won't mean a thing to me. We're all employees of the same hospital. I'm not in a training program. She's not my senior, and neither is she my boss. Now, when she tells me jokes, or shares her problems, or asks for advice, i don't respond like a friend would... i respond as a resident responds to a consultant. Whereas before i was willing to do favors, things that one would willingly do for a friend, now I make up excuses. She chose to build up this wall. If she wants to be treated as a consultant, then that's what she'll get. She can't have it both ways, depending on her mood. I can give her respect, but she can't expect me to treat her the same way i treat my friends. She can't behave like we're equals most of the time, then suddenly bring up how superior she is when things don't go her way.
And come on! I don't get it how many consultants see themselves as gods when they're with residents, as if they're all powerful and all knowing. Fine, the best ones may be all knowing when it comes to their respective specializations, but when it comes to other sub specialties, cracks are evidently showing! Heck, cracks are even showing in their own respective specializations! That consultant doesn't even know how to insert a chest tube properly. She can't handle pediatric patients properly. Aren't those things expected out of an emergency medicine consultant? So much for being board certified. And what does the hospital do? They give so much premium to these board certified individuals even when the residents are the ones doing the procedures... and some of those procedures, like umbilical catheterizations, closed tube thoracostomies, and tenorrhaphies are procedures these consultant don't even know how to do! And the hospital doesn't give due compensation to the residents who do such procedures. Instead, professional fees are given to the consultants! I'm just saying that credit should be given where credit is due. Last week, one patient who got into a vehicular accident and was subsequently discharged by the ER consultant on duty. He came back and he couldn't move his arms. I don't know if it's only because I had sufficient previous training, but when I reviewed the x-rays of the patient I could clearly see a cervical spine fracture. Two days ago, my mom was misdiagnosed. Now she's at the hospital, and what I thought initially turned out to be true after all, I wondered how her doctor could have missed it. Maybe it was his age. Then again, maybe he wasn't such a good doctor in the first place. He couldn't even prescribe the right dose of a widely used drug like Paracetamol. Again, so much for being BOARD CERTIFIED. All those papers don't mean a thing if one couldn't see it in their performance. Instead of displaying those things on their walls just to prove their worth, better to just use those certificates to wipe their asses.
We're all doctors. At the most basic level, we're all humans. We're great at some things, and we suck at others. No one's perfect. Why can't we just accept that fact, so that instead of trying to trump one another and refusing to admit that in some ways others are better, we could just learn from one another and be better ourselves. Is that so hard to do?
