Well hello there blogger. it's been a long time old buddy. You've probably been wondering where i've been, what I've been doing. Heck, the thought that i have finally committed suicide had probably crossed your mind. Not to worry, old pal. I'm feeling real good actually. You notice how i often turn to you whenever i'm feeling down or really angry? you notice how i always turn to you when all the world seemed so fucked up? That has been your main purpose, old friend. You serve as my outlet for all those turbulent emotions. I turn to you because you're the only one who would listen without any sort of prejudice. I guess you figured it out somewhat, and you should be happy for me. If i have been silent for a long time, that means things are finally going my way. It's one of those rare instances that i have the courage to be optimistic. So yeah i'm home again, and yeah just like before i feel shitty. Who wouldn't feel this way, coming back to the shit hole that any sane person would want to stay away from? but alas, this shit hole is the place i call home, but if things go as planned this time, i wouldn't be calling this place home any longer. I can finally leave this place for good--- all those painful memories, all those places that i've grown to hate, and all those people who continue to disappoint me. I gave it another shot, and i feel really optimistic this time, and i have my friends to thank for that. True, it wouldn't be the life that i really wanted, but it will be a life that is so much better than the one i have now. And my future would be brighter than any future that i could have staying here at home.
The problem with being optimistic? well i guess i would feel worse when things don't go exactly as planned. But that's still a few weeks from now. For now, i'd continue to live my life, smiling as the world around me watches me passing by. I just hope that several weeks from now, i wouldn't have to turn to you for comfort again.... and the longer i stay silent, the more you should be happy for me. We have shared great times together, you and I.... but in all those times, i was at my worst, and i'd hate to see myself in those situations again. But if ever i find myself wallowing in desperation again, i know you'll be here at this exact same place. I can trust you, i can depend on you. And in some fucked up way, you're the only one who truly understands. That's why you're the one who'll be with me until the very end.
